Human beings are social animals. Being helpful and making efforts for others has become a significant part of human life through evolution. From the time humans started to go hunting in groups, the importance of interdependence can be seen. The most significant help that modern society needs are to be free from all sorts of distorted thought processes and unhelpful emotions.
Some of those who have realized this need have started making efforts to help and empower others. There are many ways professionals help their clients lead a life with abundant mental health and emotional well-being. Today we introduce you to Nikita Tibrewal, who herself battled depression and is currently trying to help others through her community.
Founder of DrolMaa Constellation Club – Nikita Tibrewal
She is currently pursuing a master’s in psychology and is the founder and owner of the DrolMaa Constellation club, a community of more than 70 mental health professionals across India. They have come together to spread awareness, conduct workshops, organize mentorship, facilitate services, and volunteer for unprivileged groups.
We mostly take only those concerns seriously that we face in our life. Each of us has a different tale to tell. But gradually, we realize that others are facing a problem of a similar nature. That’s when we generally try to help them out somehow, hoping that will affirmatively resolve their issues or at least they would face milder consequences. After experiencing tremendous mental stress and undergoing depression, I realized that many other people were undergoing similar problems, and getting help had become a necessity for them.
Sometimes they failed to recognize the importance of getting help, while some were unable to get appropriate health either due to financial or other issues. Thus, keeping their plight in mind, I was motivated to spread mental health awareness. Even in this fast-paced twenty-first century, people consider a precious aspect of mental well-being taboo. Kids are reluctant to open up about their mental health concerns even to their parents. That’s mainly due to the stereotypes that the masses have accepted as reality. Thus, I realized that somewhere I should take a stand for breaking those notions.
I believe that we can be the best role model for ourselves. The way we understand our own life, we can’t understand the life of someone else. Even if someone’s issues are similar to mine, I cannot merely follow whatever they do. For instance, even Deepika Padukone had faced depression in her life. But her circumstances are different than mine. Thus, it won’t be the best thing to look at my own life through her lens. I think that we can become our role models and keep on inspiring ourselves. Besides, I aspire to become an inspiration for others.
The journey of the DrolMaa Constellation Club had an exciting start. Around that time, I faced my mental health issues and thought of posting in a psychology group on Facebook. The response to that post was extremely overwhelming.
I found many leads of Reiki healers, Art therapists, Clinical psychologists, Counselors, and other professionals that played a role in improvising mental health. I realized that everybody there was with a common goal, yet everyone had unique ways of functioning. After a while, I took the initiative to connect with them and created a group on WhatsApp. I got a great response from all of them.
Everyone had something new to learn from others. What a clinical psychologist knows may benefit an art therapist and vice versa. Thus, it became a platform where we all can grow and empower each other to be better at our work. Everyone liked and supported the idea, and that’s how the community flourished.
When I made this group and asked everyone to give a brief introduction about themselves, I came across a lady who was initially a commerce student who pursued her masters almost ten years after getting married and got into this field of counseling. I never had before thought that even a commerce student would be able to pursue psychology. Inspired by her, I started researching and exploring the way I could help others. And thus, I decided to pursue a master’s in psychology.
Our Indian society has witnessed many instances in which women are seen as less than men. Some women have to sacrifice their education despite being intelligent, while some cannot pursue their dream job despite having appropriate education and necessary skills. Along with this imbalance, in our society, it is seen that women of the elder generation aren’t willing to come ahead and support the women of a younger generation who face are facing the issues which they previously faced.
In my opinion, after facing a problem, one can emerge with either of the two mindsets. If my generation has suffered, the next generation has no right to enjoy this privilege. They, too, should suffer. While the other mindset is much healthy and positive in which a person makes efforts to ensure that the next generation doesn’t fall into the pit of the same problem they had suffered.
The qualities that we speak of while discussing an ideal society like equality, liberty, and justice would manifest in a true sense when more and more people choose to think from the second mindset. That is an impact a generation would be able to bring. That’s how people would reflect and be able to change their perspective about the role of friends, members of the family, and society at large. The first mindset is like a loop that would be broken only when people realize the importance of the second one.
There’s a necessity to see mental health and issues related to it with a correct approach in today’s society. Many people who need help fail to recognize it and continue to suffer. Mental health issues are still widely seen as taboo. The primary reason for it is that people are reluctant to talk about it.
Also, correct knowledge needs to be spread, and people should be cautious in using the terms regarding mental health, just as sometimes people even term their mild sorrow as depression. For instance, in a family, if a child is facing specific issues with his studies and feels low due to it, he may state that he is in depression. That would be because no one ever gave him the correct information about what depression exactly is. Maybe he just came across the word in some movie or so.
On the other hand, an adult in a family would not give enough preference to their mental health, that they need to speak up to someone despite feeling suicidal. They won’t be willing to reveal what they are going through. When people would gain the proper knowledge and be open to discussions, only the stigma would weaken, thus socially empowering those facing mental health issues.
To me, poetry has been of therapeutic significance. I write poetries as well as perform them in the open mic. There’s a beautiful surge of thoughts within me that motivates me to pen it down. If I purposefully sit and decide to write something, it probably won’t work. These words by Charles Bukowski indeed reflect my ideology about poetry.
Unless it comes out of your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would drive you
to madness or suicide or murder,
don’t do it.
Unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut, don’t do it.
when it is truly time, and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by itself, and it will keep on doing it
until you die, or it dies in you.
To me, competing with ourselves and getting better is the biggest award one can win. We don’t always need to compete with others. Victory over yourself is something you can achieve every day, every moment, and in every situation. Even if we let a challenging situation pass without letting it damage our mental health and emotional well-being, I’d say that it’s an outstanding achievement. We have to be an inspiration to ourselves and others because there will always be someone learning something from us.
When I started with the community, I didn’t expect it to grow so much and even pursue psychology. Once you take a stand for yourself, the path begins to clear for you. If I keep thinking about the past ten years, I won’t be able to progress. Of course, I have to start taking baby steps.
Apart from the community work and poetry, I love to read books. I prefer reading non-fictional works. Also, I cherish conducting workshops on various topics that I have an understanding about. During my college times, I was a fun-loving girl who used to sneak out from the hostel to go for treks, write poetries and explore different cultures through CouchSurfing.
This pandemic time was like a blessing to me. It was the time when I truly realized my dream. The initial phase of this pandemic was like a detox time for me. All the distress was piled up inside me due to my struggle. It was a great time to release and let go of that.
That was the time when I realized that this COVID pandemic had just arrived, but we all have been in another excellent pandemic for so long, yet we hardly realized that it had been a pandemic. The long-lasted pandemic is all about distress, anxiety, fear and sadness, and concerns that hamper mental health. That’s when I got the idea of building a community that would eradicate this pandemic that has lasted so long across this globe.
First and foremost, all those suffering from some mental health issue take a stand for themselves. Don’t bottle up everything within you, just thinking that it is just a phase and you will fully manage it on your own because eventually, it would become like a sea in which you’ll keep on drowning and drowning. Talk to someone, go for counseling if you feel the need.
Because it’s just like I already said, ‘when you take a stand for yourself, your path starts to get more precise. One should also know that healing from mental health issues is an ongoing process. Just gaining knowledge about psychology or going to a counselor won’t mean that psychologist or counselor will resolve all your problems instantaneously. It would take time. Thus, know that you’re healing every day bit by bit.
My biggest lesson has ever taught me that we should live and let others live. Even a bit of disruption in conversations, especially with those who are very dear to us, impacts us in various aspects of our lives. Also, it is essential for one not to force their views on others, as everyone sees different sides of the situation.
Thus, each of us should try to explore and increase our knowledge as much as possible and try to see viewpoints and understand the thought processes of others. If we disagree over something and accept each other, we can continue a samvaad – a conversation. But if I force my point of view on you or vice versa, it would create a vivaad – an argument. We have to keep reinforcing conversations and not arguments to grow. If I stop exploring and broadening my perception, I will not grow, and I may also hinder the growth of others.
“After all, There’s only one difference between you and me, the glasses we have put on!”
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